“Be Kind.” You've probably seen those words on a garden flag hanging in someone's front yard. You've probably heard a parent tell their child, “Just be kind,” before sending them off to school. Kindness was a hallmark of our beloved neighbor, Mr. Rogers, and remains a virtue nearly everyone claims to value.

Ask most people, and they'll tell you we need more kindness. More in our schools, more in our politics, more in our workplaces, and more in our own families.

How can something nearly everyone believes in be so difficult to find? Perhaps we need to begin by correcting a common mistake. We often confuse kindness with niceness.

Being nice means being pleasant and agreeable. Niceness goes with the flow. It avoids conflict and tries not to ruffle feathers. But people can be perfectly pleasant while participating in terrible things. One mistake I've made, and one I see others make, is assuming that because someone is nice, they must also be good or kind.

But kindness is something more. Kindness means being generous, helpful, and considerate of others.Kindness is generous. It doesn't simply wish others well; it gives what it can. Real kindness costs us our time, our resources, our attention, sometimes even our comfort. Kindness is helpful. It doesn't always wait for an invitation. Sometimes kindness requires us to step outside our comfortable circles and get involved. We often mistake minding our own business for doing good, but kindness sometimes requires a little holy nosiness. It notices a need and responds. Kindness is considerate. It asks us to look beyond our own interests and consider what others need. It doesn't simply ask, “What's best for me?” but “What's good for us?”

And this is why kindness is not always nice. Sometimes kindness requires difficult conversations, uncomfortable truths, and courageous action. Niceness seeks to avoid discomfort. Kindness seeks the good of another.

Kindness is more than a slogan on a garden flag or a mantra we repeat to children. It is a fruit of the Spirit. And like any fruit, it requires cultivation. We must nurture it through practice, patience, and intentionality.

I believe our world desperately needs more kindness. But kindness isn't simply something we need more of from others. We are called to cultivate it within ourselves. Kindness is not weakness. It is a powerful force for change.

The world doesn't just need more people who are nice. It needs more people willing to do the costly, courageous work of being kind